everything, part 2

A collection of things I brought home with me.

A collection of things I brought home with me.

In the past three weeks I have: spent an exuberant weekend with my IAD family in Santa Barbara, completed my advanced training, fallen in love, and driven from LA to Denver with my dad and cat. 

Before my training I would have asked how I could be so lucky. To have found such an extraordinary community of friends. To be seen and unconditionally loved by a group of 76 strangers. To be the girl chosen out of all the others to fall in love with.

For the rest of my life, this will be the moment when everything changed. For the rest of my life, it will be the before and the after. I know now that I am not lucky, I am deserving. I am worthy of all the amazing things in my life, and I created them. Of course I have an extraordinary community of friends. Of course 76 people decided to love me without condition after only 5 days of knowing me. Of course he fell in love with me.

I also create my struggle. The training didn't cure me because that's not what it does. But now I know that I am worth overcoming my struggles, that I deserve to be better than I am. I reclaimed my worth and my power and my abundance. It was always there, but for a while it had gotten lost. And instead of accountability being scary, it is the most free and empowering way of being I can imagine.

I thought I understood what being everything meant before. Now I know that to be everything, I get to be the source. The source never dries up, because it is endlessly refilled.